Last week, on Dr. Phil, there was a young man explaining his paternity case. Apparently he and this woman were dating and had discussed having children. He told her that he did not want children and she said she did. He says she told him she was on the pill and he believed her. Guess what? She became pregnant and sued him for child support, which she was granted after a DNA test showed him to be the biological father.
He is paying his child support; however, he refuses to have anything to do with the child and has attempted to file motions to release him from all obligations as he was not a willing participant in the decision to conceive. Both his motions for relief have been thrown out of court soon after they were filed. He said he is going to continue to seek relief and feels that no court should force him into fatherly obligations just as no court should force a woman into having a child.
This is an interesting case, which is jam-packed with “triggers” for all sides. The feminists and child activists were rather upset; stating that the child is innocent and since he is the biological father he is damaging the child’s development by refusing to do anything more than provide financial support. The man’s mother spoke up saying that, although he pays his court ordered child support, he should have the right to decide not to be a father, financially or otherwise. He says he told her he didn’t want children and she lied when she said she was taking birth control.
Fact: he had sex with this woman.
Obvious Assumption: he did not use a condom.
Conclusion: “I believed her when she said she was on the pill” is no defense for a blatant lack of personal responsibility.
Perhaps women have more options: birth control, abortion, adoption, etc…, but women are not the only ones who have the right to decide when and if they become parents. Unfortunately, many men use the “I believed her” or “I pulled out” excuse and those are horribly week ones. Seriously, if you are afraid of heights, don’t take a job as a tight rope walker just because it was offered to you.
The unavoidable fact is…if you wish to avoid a result (like fathering a child) then refrain from engaging in actions that may cause that outcome. Use a condom, get fixed (it is reversible), or seriously consider avoiding sex.
What’s the saying? You play you pay. Well it’s true. You may choose not to be an involved father, and that is definitely your right, but if you did not do everything in your power to avoid conception then you have an obligation to take responsibility for your actions.
